I always try to remember:
you can't change anybody but yourself.
Everyone needs to find the solution for his problems by himself, otherwise the problems will return (they will create the problems again).
A relative of mine had drug problems, through this he got finanzial problems, which brought him problems with a local mafia-like structure. He needed to be *really* deep in trouble before he could be helped. And he needed to find his own solution, his own way to disentangle from the mobsters. Only then we could help.
If you try to pull people, they will resist (I'm just in the mood of trying if pushing them deeper might help.
)
Problem: it is not easy to see if they are ready - so, better leave them in the trouble a bit longer to make sure they learned the lesson this time. Learn about co-dependency so you can avoid it! Otherwise
you trying to help will keep them in it even longer!
*THEY* need to learn a lesson, not you! You can't take the lesson from them, you can't learn it for them, you can't force them to learn it (there might be ways to trick someone into learning it by creating a problem they need to solve, though).
So don't try. And if they are in real trouble, and ruining their life, their health, well, it is their life, its their decision. They are not slaves.
I believe our life on earth is just an incarnation of a spirit, so if we die we go back into spirit-land and can decide to go back with another incarnation. So for me dying is not fatal, its just like rerolling a character in a fantasy game.
So wounds, sickness, dying, everything is just an experience to make, not something to evade.
Love you!
Sam