Andrew, it sounds like you and your lady are both androgynous.
i see some similarities in my own relationship, my guy and i both take turns being dominant/masculine and submissive/feminine. but we're naturally stretching ourselves too, and naturally holding the space for the other to stretch. sometimes it feels odd to not fit the gender roles, but that happens when i pause to think about what others would say instead of just being myself. most of the time it's all very organic.
we both need to improve on our endurance i think, but we'll get there - and we both enjoy the practice along the way
glad you are with someone who is open to seeing you as your true self.