Being honest can be good. But your example sentences are not only what you think is honest, they add a request to it.
Lemme rephrase them to show what I think would be better ways of 'being honest':
Quote:
Originally Posted by soccer7  "Hi there, i like you, can you go out with me ?" |
Make that "Hi there, I like you!".
Quote:
Originally Posted by soccer7 "Hi, i find you a nice person, can i be your friend?" |
Make that "Hi, I find you a nice person."
Quote:
Originally Posted by soccer7 "Hey you, i never liked you all this time, even though i pretended to be nice to you at work i really hate you, why can't you be a better person ?" |
Thats a bit more tricky. Usually I would see no great need to tell something negative without reason. Maybe if someone who you do not like keeps trying to make a date with you, something like "Sorry, but you are not my type, I don't think I could get along with you".
First: it's about you. It is your feeling, you feel drawn to someone, or repulsed. You, not the other one. So don't say something like "you are an *********************" even though everyone might agree with you. Say "I don't like you" in that case.
Second: don't add a request to your 'being honest'. It's like marching up to someone and saying 'gimme a buck'. Changing it to 'I like you. Now gimme a buck' does not make it friendlier at all.
If you want to be honest, be it, but don't use this as a foot in the door, a way to fire off a request. Thats a nono. It would make everyone feel like you only said the nice words to get off your request.
Quote:
Originally Posted by soccer7 "Hey did you know your fat, why don't you go lose some weight fatty" |
A simple "Uhm, excuse my direct question, but might it be you have gained a little weight?" would be better. Your example is, like you yourself said, an insult. Your other examples are hidden insults, too, pretending the other one is a simpleton to follow your requests just because you told them something nice before.
You might keep Steves last articles about polarity in mind, too. Either be honest as out-flow, say what you think. Or be honest as in-flow, say what you want. Don't mix them both
Of course, if you just want to conquer your fear, telling a 7' 200lbs kickboxer he's butt ugly might seem like a way to show off you got no fear (of pain)
Love!