@ Wolfgang
It is difficult, I know. First you should heighten your consciousness by reading more of Steve's articles.First read his post about the different levels of consciousness, at
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...consciousness/
After that, read
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...consciousness/
(The link looks the same, but it is a different article.)
You should read these, because raising your level will make you see what it means to polarize. You can raise your consciousness temporarily with objects and information from a higher level, and Steve's writings are. Raising your level is exactly the same thing as polarizing. At the level of Reason, you MUST polarize much further to get higher, because you become more conscious of the conflict within you. Then you know that becoming who you are is the only way to go.
Also reread ALL THREE of the polarity articles at least three times. Not in one rush, but let it sink in for a few days. Take you time. Everything is in there, but you did not get half of it. For instance, you still think the flow is always the same; it clearly is not. Steve says in the last article that darkworkers see giving as an investment to gain more later. They only like giving because they know they will GET more in return. Lightworkers take and receive, so that they can give even more (like Steve getting rich with this site). They like receiving only because it will enable them to give more. For both kinds of people the highly positive feelings only come when they do the thing that fits their polarity. The rest is just an investment. Think about this.
My estimate is that you are at the levels of Courage and Willingness, and sometimes on the level of Acceptance. Going up even one level is REALLY hard and takes time. But it is possible and I think you will definitely get to Reason if you want to.
When you reach Reason and become conscious of your true nature, and choose to go with it, you get a glimpse of the Joy of embracing your destiny. Like I say elsewhere, you can then feel your polarity by thinking about your profound, emotional experiences from the past. They will reveal your polarity. Than the thinking is gone, and only action remains.
Be kind enough to react to this AFTER you have done the reading and thinking. I wish you a good journey.