yes, you could be addicted to your loneliness, or rather the depressive feelings. You may have possibly conditioned your brain cells to crave familiar, though destructive, emotions. Training yourself to find healthier ways of dealing with immense stress, such as taking up a musical instrument, writing a journal, book, or play, etc. will help re-wire your brain. Reading up on acognative therapy approach which involves learning new problem solving techniques will help you better understand how to get out of your doldrums. My doctor had put me on a very strong anti-depressant after my Ex suddenly passed away, and the meds really did help. Seeing a therapist really opened my world up as well.
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