I think you may be right to a certain degree about her being lonely, but I believe I know why she "follows" me.
I have known this woman for quite a long time so my comments are made from this perspective. She is very much a "me first" type of person. I don't think she wants to invest the time or trouble to cultivate new relationships and I think she finds it easier to let me go out and do the leg work so to speak. Her and I have similar interests and I have gone out and found the groups and people who are into the same stuff I am (running, golfing etc) and I have spent the last few years developing these relationships. I think she would just like to have me bring her into my social circle so it is ready made for her so to speak.
I have noticed over the years that the only things she has spent any time on are things that will provide some kind of payback in either social status or to further an agenda for their kids. (ie coaching a sports team so their son will make the team, being on the executive of sports associations their kids are involved in etc). I believe most of her social circle revolves around business contacts for her husband's career.
She is looking for friends who fill a need for her, she does not bring much to the relationship. I don't want to make her sound like a horrible person because she is not. If you met her you would probably like her. As I said in my earlier post, I don't dislike her I just really don't want to be used to fill her needs.
It's kind of like you spend the time to build a house and someone walks over and says thanks very much and moves right in.
I can talk to her but I'm not sure what I would say. She hasn't done anything terrible, I just don't like her style. The problem is really mine. I don't own my friends and if she decides that she wants to call them and find out what our plans are and be included I can't tell them not to be friendly to her and I don't want to tell them how I feel about her because these are my feelings and I don't want to bad mouth her.
The way I see it I either have to put up with her being with us when we socialize or I have to find other things to do. I guess it's a like it or lump it situation.  |