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Originally Posted by Mynder  But when there is no way to be 100% sure of something, ANY deduction you make COULD be delusion and self-deceit. |
Yes - strictly speaking, I have no rational way of knowing anything with 100% certainty. Any deduction I make could very well be self-deceit...But that's not going to stop me from striving to make deductions. Or perhaps that is the point? That I shouldn't strive for theoretical knowledge because it could be a delusion?
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Originally Posted by Mynder So, what is the truth? When you have establised that, with the means you have available, you cannot rationally PROVE or DISPROVE either possibility, on what basis can you decide?
Yes, I know, this is exactly your dilemma. Some things cannot (by definition) be known to us, because we have no way of understanding them completely in our glorious but limited state of existence.
Nothing I say will deliver any logical arguments to you that would allow you to irrefutably prove either alternative. There are some things I think we cannot logically understand, because we have neither all the facts nor the faculties to absorb them were they available.
I guess your answer is to go deep inside and just toss out reason, toss out the mind, stop the chitchat of thoughts and just FEEL.
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What is truth?
I have tried to answers this question my entire life. Every time I take a step forward, the question itself changes because it no longer makes sense in the new context.
The current question is: what am I? Or, in other words, what is life? What is it that gives 'me' the capacity to experience existence?
I should probably provide some history here to provide some context for you. I'll try to be brief. Several years ago I got very involved in spirituality. Specifically, what I found intriguing was non-duality and enlightenment. During this time I opened up and experienced a lot of strange things...
Divine bliss. The perception of time would slow down and everything would be transformed. Everything would suddenly appear divine and beautiful - to an amazing degree. The bliss was so intense and overwhelming that I often had to stop what I was doing. Everything was amazing, beautiful, still. I know this doesn't make any sense - but it seemed like God was everywhere that I looked. It was, without a doubt, the most amazing thing I have ever experienced, and there is no way I could fully put it into words.
NDE. After experiencing the divine bliss for several weeks I started to hear a mental voice. Not a physical sound - like someone talking to me. Like mental chatter - only someone else's mental chatter. It said - "I am Jesus Christ". I got the feeling that Christ was there to help with something.
I woke up one night in an Infinite Void. Christ was there - along with two other entities that were not recognized. I rode an energy 'wave' where my spiritual 'frequency' suddenly increased tremendously. Parts of me began dying. I couldn't here my own thoughts. There was an infinite energy that I was being 'absorbed' into. I felt myself dying. It was terrifying - and "I" resisted it.
I woke up in bed sweating and terrified. For several weeks I woke up every night at 3 am. Terrified. I stopped pursuing 'truth', and sunk into depression.
...
This was years ago. Today - I feel very alone. I have yet to find anyone who can give me even a shred of understanding or insight into this. Most people don't have the capacity to even imagine the events leading up to it. It's like trying to explain calculus to a 5 year old who can't pass kindergarten.
I sincerely struggle with this and don't really know what to do about it. I have tried to forget about everything and bury my head back into the physical world - but this only leads to progressively deeper states of depression. It's like, once you go so far down the rabbit hole, there's no turning back.
I find myself stuck at a cross road. If I go back, knowing what I know now, I would just be deluding myself. If I move forward, I'm afraid that I would have to experience that again - which terrifies me.
What do you do when you are stuck between an unstoppable force and an unmovable object?
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Originally Posted by Mynder Why? What would be the worst that could happen, and what would be your current implications from that? |
The experience of life itself could cease to exist. A possibility that I still find terrifying, even today. Yet it seems that this must be experienced, if I want to move higher.
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Originally Posted by Mynder Well, if it helps, I'm game! |
Excellent!
You are a brave soul.
