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Judy · 03-03-2007, 03:47 PM

Oh my! Oh my! I am actually very interested in this debate as I have personal experience of being the one rubbing others on the wrong side in discussion boards. I am in real life a very polite, open and intelligent individual who happens to love debate. Discussion boards are for me a way to ask questions, get another point of view. I don’t pad my posts and am very direct. I also often play devil’s advocate or take a very peculiar stance just to get a new perspective. It doesn’t always work well with people on boards.

Also, as someone said, only 20% of communication is made of verbal input. I think a lot less than 20% actually gets through in discussion boards because, perhaps, of the ability to understand actual words and meaning and cognitive distortion from the participants. Not everybody understand text with legal precision. They take it at face value and answer a complicated question after having read it once. Their emotions, their iguana brain take over. Let’s face it, many make assumptions that an attack is being made on them, as individuals with their own beliefs.

What I find is that many people posting in spiritual/personal development boards are very narcissistic, I think. It’s the downside of this area of interest. I might take a different stand just to notice the flaws in belief systems and they immediately assume wrong will from my part, just because they see it as shaking their belief tower.

What I do when discussing in internet boards (my personal rules of behaviour):

-Immediately apologize if people get offended (even if I think they’re being complete morons.)

-Always be polite, do not insult

-Remain rational in the exposition of my question/opinion and if emotions need to be exposed, expose them as such and say that it is personal to me.

-Assume good will from others, do not get offended if a criticism about my post is made.

-If such a personal criticism or even insult is made to me, just go over the elements of my post and the other person’s post in a rational way, do not reply on the same tone and calmly state the way it made me feel, if need be.

03-03-2007, 03:47 PM	#35 (permalink)
Judy Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: French Canada Posts: 4	Oh my! Oh my! I am actually very interested in this debate as I have personal experience of being the one rubbing others on the wrong side in discussion boards. I am in real life a very polite, open and intelligent individual who happens to love debate. Discussion boards are for me a way to ask questions, get another point of view. I don’t pad my posts and am very direct. I also often play devil’s advocate or take a very peculiar stance just to get a new perspective. It doesn’t always work well with people on boards. Also, as someone said, only 20% of communication is made of verbal input. I think a lot less than 20% actually gets through in discussion boards because, perhaps, of the ability to understand actual words and meaning and cognitive distortion from the participants. Not everybody understand text with legal precision. They take it at face value and answer a complicated question after having read it once. Their emotions, their iguana brain take over. Let’s face it, many make assumptions that an attack is being made on them, as individuals with their own beliefs. What I find is that many people posting in spiritual/personal development boards are very narcissistic, I think. It’s the downside of this area of interest. I might take a different stand just to notice the flaws in belief systems and they immediately assume wrong will from my part, just because they see it as shaking their belief tower. What I do when discussing in internet boards (my personal rules of behaviour): -Immediately apologize if people get offended (even if I think they’re being complete morons.) -Always be polite, do not insult -Remain rational in the exposition of my question/opinion and if emotions need to be exposed, expose them as such and say that it is personal to me. -Assume good will from others, do not get offended if a criticism about my post is made. -If such a personal criticism or even insult is made to me, just go over the elements of my post and the other person’s post in a rational way, do not reply on the same tone and calmly state the way it made me feel, if need be.