Two thoughts that come to my mind.
First is that, if a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound? How can you really be sure that the tree fell at all? Do you automatically assume it makes a sound because your past has taught you that if you are standing right there watching the tree fall you are hearing a sound?
Wether or not the tree ceases to exist is basically whatever reality you choose to make for yourself. I mean, if you are living your life consciously, does it really matter if the tree falls and makes a sound? No, because in your reality, regardless of wether or not it does and what affect it might have, it won't affect your reality. Why? Because your reality is focused on other things.
Secondly, if I'm experiencing trouble in my relationship, I take the time out to redirect my thoughts, and focus on everything I am greatful for in that person, and as well as that, I look inwardly and try and figure out how to build myself up to make all my experiences positive. I usually find that when trouble comes around is when I have neglected a part of myself.
One thing I tell myself everyday, is that I will treat myself how I want others to treat me. Makes a world of difference. It is not so much affecting others behaviour as attracting it.
I don't know if this has helped in anyway. If I think of anything to add I will come back later.
