DaveTyler, I think you should talk to a therapist.
The articles on subjective reality are just sketchy ideas, you should not read them as gospel. Most people, including those with high awareness do not share their thoughts with Pavlina and those alike.
I think your numbness could be due to depression and a number of other factors. I think you should seek help now! because apathy will lead to passivity and once this starts you won't find the motiovation for doing it. I've felt completely numb for 5 years so I know what i'M talking about,
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