You're absolutely right. Online forums (I've hosted one on my site for five years now) are superb breeding grounds for misunderstanding because there's no tone of voice. One person's joke is another person's venomous attack, and people find it really hard to believe that things weren't meant the way they heard them. Add in the disinhibiting effect of a screen name, and down the chute we go. I think it's inevitable, from time to time. We dust ourselves off afterwards and get back to something more interesting.
This doesn't mean that a virtual community can't become a real one, though, or that people can't get to know each other in a forum. It's certainly happened with mine - maybe it's easier with a smaller group.
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