First off I'm not exactly developed or working on my abilities heavily so my advice is sort of just from where I'm at now. I'm 25 &
well I didn't even become aware of my abilities until a few years ago in a real way.
I can identify though a bit... My mother, sister, & grandmother have abilities I believe. All 3 of them have lived their entire lives terrified, angry, & resentful of their abilities I believe since none of them really wanted to talk about it at all & when they did.. it became a very negatively charged conversation pretty quickly. Enter me. I'm the youngest in the family & I thought "oh they all have abilities & that's nice..but I don't think I do..." from when I was a wee kid. I was always very open to the phenomena & read many books on it due to my curiosity.
I will say like you my family's negative bias against paranormal phenomena made it quite difficult for me when I realized I also was experiencing things a few years ago that made it difficult to deny. My sister was the toughest as she also highly resents her abilities & my bringing up ANYTHING was like a big fight with her though I so badly wanted to share it with her. I definitely think you could get some help healing that horrible experience you went through with your parents & the pastors it would help clear up that part of your feelings with your abilities. For my sister she had a particularly bad experience with an entity that soured her for good (she only told me a year ago finally) & well, she sort of let it colour her perspective.
One of your paragraphs jumped out at me since it sounds a lot like what some have called 'unskilled empathy.' It's an ability to sort of merge or pick up on other people's feelings, physical sensations, a sense of who they are, there is even molecular empathy according to the book I've read on it. It is by a woman named Rose Rosetree whose book has helped me quite a bit with this particular ability. It is different from being clairvoyant or clairsentient I believe? though I'm sure there are others who are way more familiar with these abilities than I am. It sounds like you have more than empathy too but I don't know if I can help you out there
as I'm totally unfamiliar with this stuff.
I am in the process of regaining my own power over my empathy. For many years I didn't even realize I'd pick up people's emotions like a sponge. I would hang around someone who was peaceful & it was bliss...then all of a sudden I'd be around an angry person (this is hardest for me..especially in this stressful time) & I'd be upset too. It was like I couldn't control it. I dealt pretty well & tried just some meditations whatnot..but to make a long story short I was upset too because I hated not being able to control it or turn it off when I wanted some peace or just to go grocery shopping in peace without picking some person's intense emotions.
I am slowly right now in the process of regaining my own power back & I believe it is our right to since it makes no sense to be a slave to something like this. I think there are more books out there on various abilities & sometimes there are teachers you can work with? though I'm not sure of which ones but I am sure setting some kind of intention with your guides/universe to empower yourself & have the insight to use your abilities better & have a more peaceful life would be a good intention. I've found asking for the help generally tends to send it right to me.
I identify with your post because I'm sort of half annoyed with my empathy & half aware that I have it for a reason though I don't know my reasons quite yet.
I believe though there will come a time it'll make sense for me & I'll be grateful for it much like I'm grateful for other talents I have.
I hope this helps!