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Originally Posted by Sireesha  Hey guys,
Here is an issue that I have been struggling with for a while now. Is it possible for best friends to drift apart? I have met my friend my first year of college, almost 16 years ago. We became good friends very fast and have been best friends every since. For the past year or so, I have been noticing that we both have changed, me more than her. We are in totally different places now. I became very goal oriented and try to do the take advantage of all the oppurtunities I have. I am very interested in taking on new things (like going back to school for graduate program, aiming for a promotion at work....) I was very different from this, when I was growing up, always shy, timid, not very outgoing, afraid to try new things. My friend on the other hand, was always outgoing, confident , always speaking her mind. Now that I am doing so many things, focusing on improving myself, my friend thinks that I have become very selfish and am interested only in myself (She told me this, when I mentioned that I don't like watching news because of all the depressing news they always glorify). There have been several incidents in the recent times that she used to put me down as much as she can, yelling at me, telling me I am not a good friend, I look old  , so on...
My problem now is that, I feel like I am letting too much negativity surround me trying to hold on to something in the past. I now am starting to think of our relationship as an obligation, instead of friendship. We had some minor rifts in the past, but I never felt this way.
Is it normal to feel this way? Any one faced similar issues in any of their relationships? |
Some of the metaphysical teachers like Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra say that often times when we begin to make changes in ourself friends will openly rebel against it. You play a role in others lives, in this case you were the shy, timid one. Other peoples egos will resist any change in that status.
Also there are 3 big "friend changing" times - the end of high school, college graduation and the big one - starting your own family.
I've noticed being in my 30's that some friends try to keep in touch, I see some friends on the 4th of July or special events but overall everyone is too busy with their own lives. That hang out 5 or 6 times a week thing goes away and never comes back.