[Seeking Truthful Advice]

I've got to tell you that your emails are such a huge help. As each hour goes by, I realize that I've truly been in a "hell state." It's horrible to be there and your comments are "moving me" upward the ladder to health. What I have to watch is make sure that all this does not turn me sour on life and healthy relationships and love. What I was really hung up on was which, if any, of his affections and statements "that he loved me" were true or just matters of convenience and niceties. When I tell someone, and show someone, that I love them, I do love them. Even if I'm not in love with them romantically, I protect them and try to operate in their best interest. Apparently this guy will hug and kiss you, tell you that he loves you, and then in the background tell others quite the opposite.

I felt like such an idiot because I didn't see the signs. Then again, looking at his circumstance and how he's truly "stuck" in the old victim role, and has been for years, shows that the quality of his expression of love just isn't there. Also, his "love" is so intertwined with the older sister (who is a counselor but says that it's okay that he smokes dope every night) and the fouled mouth 24 year old "to be adopted" niece that lives next door, that, I think, he has misplaced his own voice (and heart).

Goes to show how important it is to be with someone that has the ability to truly love someone else, for the long-term, and without the "teenage" games. The idea that you're with someone for a few years, then onto another, and another, seems to me that it's like going to grade school again and again and one never quite graduates to the real life of love.....the type of love that you can grow old with - and want to!

Also, a person that ends a 4.5 yr relationship by an email that is sent nearly two months after he has inflicted an unsuspected silent treatment is lower than low. No wonder I've been on an emotional wreck. Emotional abuse is no doubt as serious as physical abuse.....