[Cado]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Yes - though I'm curious what you think love for others could be if it has nothing to do with oneness. Those articles on selfish love - I don't get it, do you express love? Are you kind to people simply because it feels good to do so?

Aren't we all? The main point I've taken away from all that is that altruism is a lie; everything has a selfish aspect and that's always the driving force. Even a martyr is true to his nature.

Love without oneness is not that different than love with oneness, the primary difference is that it's selective. As I see it, oneness is nonsense because it's impossible to love everybody and there's no good reason to believe we are all in fact one. We're linked by cause and effect, sure, but it's quite a leap to declare we're basically the same organism. When I hear someone say something like, "I long to be one with source" I think it's anti-evolutional, as if returning to a primordial state is somehow an advancement.

Perhaps it is inevitable that everything, even the spirit, returns to that form at some point. However, that doesn't resonate with me, and I see no good reason to believe it at this time.

I remember hearing about Alestair Crowley a bit. What do you think about him? He talked about love a lot, but in the end he inspired some of the most depraved practises. I don't see him as really loving. I think he talked about love because he wanted to exalt himself with high-sounding philosophy. I wonder if that's what's going on with you too. I don't mean to insult you, it's just what seems to fit. What IS love for you? How do you relate to another person?

Crowley fascinates me but I am not one of his followers. As with everything else, I pick and choose what I take from him. He is not someone I would emulate.

Again, love is not that different for me than in it is for anyone else, I'm just honest about my selectivity and selfishness. I would go to great lengths for those I love and I'm known for being generous.

By the way, I don't doubt you anymore, you seem to be quite coherent despite that one thing I don't get yet. The meditation, I checked it out and then a friend talked to me, and I seemed to be in a sort of trance and what he said to me - it wasn't anything special, something like if I wanted a cup of tea - I felt like what he was saying was making fun of me subtly in a very cruel way. I had to make a prayer and meditate a bit for it to pass. You like this energy?

Meditations like that make it harder to insult me. I'm more confident, focused, and clear-minded, essentially the opposite of what you describe for yourself. I am in control.

It's kind of like how the meditations lightworkers advocate always made me feel so damn floaty, like my being lacked coherence. It felt nothing like "enlightenment" or warmth or oneness, it was just very disorienting.

It just goes to show that nothing is suitable for everyone.