Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb  Hmm... you interest me 
Does that mean fear energy?
Do you control your inner demons, i.e. insecurity with fear?
For instance, you want to write a book and publish it. An inner demon, as you called it, tells you you couldn't because of X, Y, Z. So you channel a load of intense panic telling yourself all of the horrible things that will happen if you don't publish your book: how you'll be totally worthless, how you'll never achieve any goal if you can't achieve this one, etc...
Is that how you work with energy? |
Not quite. The primary use of panic is to snap myself awake if I'm wallowing in apathy. I would map the process as Stagnation > Breaking Self > Healing. It's rare that I need to use that process these days, and I would never prolong it. The feelings I associate with panic, insecurity, and fear turn self-destructive if I try to use them exclusively.
The first step toward conquering a demon is awareness. I calm my mind and I watch for any anomalies which would indicate that I'm sabotaging myself. The moment I notice something I grasp hold of it and I begin asking a series of questions relating to the issue. As an example, I used to struggle with my weight. If I was feeling lazy and I thought to myself, "eh, skipping a week of exercise isn't gonna kill me" I would immediately look for the root of that thought process. If I didn't catch it early enough to prevent self-sabotage, I'd keep my cool and plan a temporary diet/workout routine that would compensate for the excess/laziness and result in a net gain.
My focus is on asserting my dominion over myself. I do not acknowledge these demons as having authority over me and I will not let anything stand in the way of my pursuit of excellence ( Destroy > Recalibrate > Integrate). I aim to fulfill my potential within the span of one lifetime. The feeling I associate with this is excitement. It is the impossible battles which heighten my senses and inspire me to stay at the top of my game. Victory under these conditions is the sweetest feeling I know. It's an addiction that has had nothing but positive effects upon my life.
Now, if you associate the word "fear" with "taboo", it's accurate. However, it seems a stretch to make that correlation... What I mean is that I have come as far as I have by questioning and breaking a number of taboos, societal, spiritual, and otherwise. Whether one is atheistic or spiritual, it seems inevitable that darkworkers will break taboos. But that's enough on that for now. It's a subject for another time.
The following are articles that have been highly influential to my way of thinking:
Rooting Exercise (Basic) The Coyote Option Death and Finding Your Purpose The Violent History of Yoga Satanism and Love The Left Hand Path And Compassion