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Originally Posted by Jehosephat  I think you hit the nail on the head there. That's where I'm trying to be. I want to get better at 'getting what she's feeling' I think if I was better able to understand that then I wouldn't really worry about what to say back or anything like that, it would be natural at that point. |
keep in mind, it's not something that comes naturally to a lot of people -- we arent really taught this skill as children, especially not boys.
it will feel awkward the first few times you do it, like any new skill. but if you keep at it, sooner or later it will be totally natural, and not anything you have to work to achieve.
edited to add: by "keep at it," i mean practice active listening. it's a great ego-reducing exercise as well. and i find that in many cases, it's a great relief for *me* to be able to just listen and love without having to solve. at the very least, listening to someone else's problems provides a nice distraction from my own.