i always interpreted that to mean, dont fall into the trap of beating yourself up for feeling whatever you are feeling. if youre sad one day, fine, youre sad. it's no use to say to yourself, "whats wrong with me that i'm feeling so sad?"
why add a layer of meta-angst to your already-existing angst? better to say to yourself "well i am sad today, but i wont be forever." maybe there's a perfectly good reason for you to be sad, or maybe you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
but feelings are like the weather -- they truly do just come and go sometimes, without any good reason.
if a sad (or angry, or defensive) feeling persists for a long time, then you have to take it to the next level and acknowledge that something aint right, either in your life or in the way you are thinking about it. that's another way to "accept your feelings" -- listen to what they are telling you without dismissing them.
it's a tricky thing to get a hold of, but a persistent eeyore cloud really does differ from a funk that lasts a few days or that is related to a specific event.
for instance, i got dumped a month ago, by a man i really loved -- i wanted to continue to try to figure it out, and he didnt. so yeah, that hurts like a bitch, and there have been some really rough days. but i'm not going to add self-loathing to the already-large pile of doubt, rejection, hurt, etc. if i'm sad some days, so be it. i have good reason to be. but i wont be forever.  |