Wow, ur post has really hit home. My life is I guess the opposite of what u are describing. Do you know the "Golden Age Myth - Mito de la Edad de Oro in Spanish" ? It says that the times of the past are always the best. For me high school was like paradise, not because I was popular or whatever but because I LOVED my school. I live in Puerto Rico and I was in private school (the same one) from K-12 grade. I knew that school like the back of my hand. I didn't have a bf or anything but I was so happy, always thought of as a dancer. Then on May 18th, 2001 the day I always dreaded came, my HS graduation. Since then I was so focused on how much I missed my school that I missed out on the joys of college. I finished my degree on Communications and now I'm a pre med student wit hopes of starting Med School in 2010. It sounds like a normal life, but it's not. I failed the stupid MCAT and have to take it again and my mom is constantly on my case about the switch I made to Medicine and she tries to control my life obsessively and I don't know how to stop it other than moving out which financially is not an option right now.
The point is the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. We all have our doubts and we all may have wondered if it's worth going through all we go through in life to end up worse that we started. The only advice I can give you is to live life day by day knowing that the world needs you and you account for something otherwise you wouldn't have made it through everything you have. You are way stronger than u might think. Just remember that and keep on living.
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