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Originally Posted by kedzer  I don't see these as natural consequences - I see them as power plays by the stronger party. (And by the way, I've never seen a parent who has always been completely calm and respectful to/around their child get sworn at by that child.) |
It's all in how you do it. If you demand unquestioning obedience, it's a power play. If you do as much as you can to correlate it with real life, it's a lesson. You're not always going to have ideal circumstances to teach through cause and effect alone so creating circumstances under which cause and effect are simulated is a smart idea. Indeed, sometimes it's the best way to get the child to grasp something because you can make it relatable.
Say with the gadgets, instead of taking them away, note how much time the child spends with them instead of doing things around the house, taking care of themselves, or playing outside. If the child wants to do nothing but play with his gadgets, shut the power off. Tell him that because he hasn't done anything he hasn't earned enough money to pay the power bill, then hand him a list of tasks that are each worth a certain dollar amount and list the total necessary to turn the power back on down at the bottom. He can complete any of those tasks in any order to reach the amount at the bottom. And of course when the child is old enough, don't buy anything for him. Give him tasks he can do in exchange for money. Not an allowance, but a salary. Put a cap on what he can earn and tell him that if he wants more money he should go around town and see what tasks other people will pay him to do. As I see it, that's far more reasonable (not to mention more effective) than simply unplugging the power cord from the video game system and storing it in the closet.