speaking as "a girl" in this scenario
...
i actually do not tend to go to (straight) men (who i'm having sex with) for emotional support -- you know the kind that women provide each other over bloody marys on sunday mornings.
it's a simple matter of just finding most guys to not be that good at it. this is not a diss on guys ... it's just a fact that if what i really need is a good dishing session where i can let it rip, my girlfriends are more into that and therefore better at it than boyfriends.
but, there are times where something bad happens -- someone steals your bike, there's a leak in the roof and the ceiling falls down, etc. -- and in those cases? being able to be a little "weak" and rely on my (sexual) partner to bolster my strength is HUGE.
the support that the boyfriend provides in this scenario is very different from the bloody mary-type support. i think velvet is right on in classifying it as more paternal than maternal.
there's no need for anyone to be anyone else's puppy, but if your relationship is strong and you want to work on this, there are things you can try.
for instance, when you get to a point where it seems like she wants you to say something, reflect back to her what you've heard her say, in your own words. "it sounds like you are really upset that this new person at work is leapfrogging you." "seems like you are feeling really alone."
if youre not sure what she's getting at, ask questions to clarify. "so you're saying that what you want right now is not what you want in the long term?" "are you dissatisfied with the way your boss treats you all the time, or is it related to this specific project?"
basically, the idea is to sit still and listen, really pay attention, and be present, without jumping directly to what advice youre going to give or whatever.
once you feel the person you are listening to has got it all out, then you can move ahead to "what now?" but first they have to get it all out.
and i have to say that providing someone the space to figure out what's rumbling around her head, as well as an accurate mirror to reflect it back to her, is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. there's nothing like feeling as though your partner cares enough to really *get* what you are feeling.