Quote:
Make sure you
care for yourself (better now in a conscious way, than in a year when you might be so exhausted that the only thing you can think of to protect yourself is completely dropping him),
if you can, reassure him that he won't loose your love even when he doesn't do what you ask him to (that he is not only loved when he is a good boy making others happy)
and still from time to time let him know in a self-responsible way how his actions affect you
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I completely agree with you, except the last part -
from time to time let him know in a self-responsible way how his actions affect you.
Well in general I agree with that too
But I was thinking that when showing him our "plan", I should say something like "the only way you can make up the last week is by at least trying to do this". That sounds harsh I know. But it is what I`m feeling at the moment, and others too... actually my bf shouted that he wants to kill him but oh well...
I`m just afraid that if we don`t use "you own it to us" thing then he wont do it. The only thing that motivated him to put down the bottle was when he saw me sitting in a corner with my head between my hands. It`s ugly to manipulate him like this but my thought is that if it is the only thing that will work then lets use it.