view all your social experiences as "experimentation".
You are not looking for results. Rather you are looking for what works. This is the TRUE mentality to have for anything successful in life.
Play with people all the time. Try different ways. See what works. Focus on the method, not the result.
Walk into a store, any store, a dunkin donuts, pizza hut, starbucks... whatever.
Now your goal is to charm the counter person to give you a little more. It works great at dunkin donuts... getting munchkins. Works best because they are small and easy to sneak in.
Here's the thing, I've worked at dunkin donuts. And when I was cashier I noticed that some customers I just started naturally giving them more food. I had no idea how or why! I was just unconsciously deciding to give my favorite customers, or even complete strangers and extra donut or two. So I began to watch how they worked their magic on me. Actually, I even discussed this with other Dunkin donuts workers.... they were all the same! Even years later, I went to a different Dunkin Donuts and ask the kids working there, whats up... they gave me some extra free donuts. (By the way, at the end of the day they throw away all their food. So that's why they don't have gripes about giving you a freebie once in a while)
It's like a magic secret. I still have it. You can have it too. I guess it's charisma? shrug? I can't describe it. Whenever I go to a club, I get a free locker storage, free shots, and every time I go into a restaurant I always get some free extra side dish.
You can do do it to. Here is what you do. Now don't go in thinking you are going to win this person over. Think about getting an extra donut. How would you charm this person to giving you an extra donut?
It's all in your smile. You've probably heard this a ton of times. A smile and good body language can set the tone to how people treat you. Your body speaks much louder than whatever comes out of your mouth. Build these things, get more donuts, and your confidence will soar with people.
I use the "You want to give me more ^_^" tactic all the time, it's actually become natural. I can't describe how amazing it feels that every time I go into a store I'm treated special. It's an amazing feeling really. Just yesterday I bought shoes. Then I saw the lady had a Catholic statue of Mary, I smiled and said "are you catholic? ^_^" she said, oh why yes? And I said "OH! me too!" and then got ready to collect my change and leave. She gave me a discount and I saved 2 bucks. But more importantly I connected with her... That's the best part and the feeling is great.
Really being social has more to do about your body language, smile, and voice projection. What will naturally follow you will find is people liking you, having better random conversations.
This is the fundamental for your confidence. Feel free to ask me questions
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