[Shindra]

Originally Posted by Shindra

I certainly get headaches too

note of caution: don't do what I did there. I had a headache for the rest of the day after writing it The Law works much faster, and more solidly, for me these days when I'm aware of it. The headache of course went away when I was not thinking of it, and then I'd notice that and remember the headache and it'd come back. I love this it's awesome to know this self-power, even when it hurts I thought it'd go away after a good sleep, so I don't have it any more.

Originally Posted by john6630@hotmail.com

Love your insightful humor!! I do tend to think too much LOL.

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world." -George Bernard Shaw

Originally Posted by john6630@hotmail.com

Your comments are very thought provoking and I need to read and re-read them.

People often say that of my words, the same general thing and specifically that they'll re-read. I think that's interesting, and good, and makes me think I should make my words more structured - I don't make my forum posts to be mind-wash material I'd have shined them up more for that (not that this post will be a fine, shined-up one. I'm too excited by that light at the end of the tunnel )

Originally Posted by john6630@hotmail.com

Thank you for taking the time to help me on this path.

John

Help *you*? What do you think I'm doing? I'm helping me! Seriously - there was some writer who said something along the lines of: I don't write what I've already thought out, I write to think/to figure it out.
Explaining it to you is explaining it to myself.
And you're me. I know that intellectually deeply now. I've seen people be me so much ever since I started looking for the connection between thoughts and physical reality a few years ago. Everyone I talk with and get to know are always, unfailingly, a reflection of my own thoughts. I know I'm talking to myself (And I have to keep in mind how vast I really am when I think that, lest the world seems small-limited - an ego cannot hold a world.)
I'm glad I'm manifesting less doubting people these days, and more seeking. It shows me I'm getting there. Forums are like one of the indicators on the dashboard of my life, and a great one at that, with all the detail, they show me just what's in my mind, and I nod in recognition. I recently saw a post from someone who, like me, listens/listened to the two podcasts on the SubR mindset again and again. I/we am/are reaching for the true Self.

Here's something interesting:
You know how Steve talked about, "what do I know for certain?...All I know is that I'm conscious and aware right now."
I sat myself down and, starting at square one, I asked myself, am I aware? The answer I experienced was most interesting - I experienced I was actually not very aware at all. I was barely aware! I couldn't remember most of my recent thoughts. I was just drifting along.
(and barely aware of my awareness.)
And I found out that my thoughts are not aware of themselves - egos are not self-aware.
This helps me. How can other people not be aware? Well, this ego here isn't even aware! Only I am (and I've been half asleep). Egos are not aware of themselves.
It's easy enough to grasp that bodies are not aware of themselves. That's just a bunch of biochemistry that one can leave.
What's interesting is the next step - thoughts are not aware of themselves. Thoughts are not aware of each other, either. The mind is not self-aware. And! thoughts do not exist without awareness. Definitely. See where this is going?
Thoughts exist only on top of cognizance. A thought is like the color of a sphere. We can see the surface of a sphere, but not see, only Know the sphere. We can only see in two dimensions, but our awareness holds three. Most of the time, we are not aware of our own awareness/cognizance, or we are barely aware of it. Talk about 'sleeping awake'. It's like being 1% awake! well, I'll reasses that % statement when I have awakened'ness/buddha/enlightenment to compare it to, but it sure seems like it'll be a small number here, caught up in the middle of and identified with thoughts.

The world is created by thought, or at least is a direct reflection of thoughts. Nothing exists without belief.
Thoughts only exist with awareness.

The bomb: Egos are not self-aware. (hey, I made a bear-bomb. Go me this realization sure shakes my foundation(again). That old we-are-not-one foundation has some serious cracks in it now, yay! And truth and awareness is falling in and filling those cracks.)
An ego consists of body and thoughts and emotions. Things that don't exist without awareness.

Originally Posted by answers.com / american heritage dictionaries

symptom: "A characteristic sign or indication of the existence of something else"

all of existence is but the symptoms of consciousness


Intending(Intention-Manifestation like) to further this, I recently got an urge to play a single-player role-playing computer game. Now, I knew that that was just a game. But I still got startled in a slightly fearing way when attacked by monsters. How come? I thought the PC (player character) was aware, although vaguely and not putting words to it, because I identified with it. I projected my awareness onto, no, into it. Isn't that silly. The game was of course built to reinforce this, with messages like "You gained..." and first-person perspective. But it was still silly. One thing I wasn't afraid of was what NPCs (non-player characters) in the game thought of me. I didn't have delusions that those were other players, even though they had dialogue. I knew they wouldn't deactivate if I unplugged the computer from the network ... But they look just like me (PC)! Of course, it's the same visual engine they're running in. But none of these characters are aware. And in that, it didn't make a difference whether a wolf was attacking PC or an NPC.
The PC isn't aware, it's just me, out here.

Awareness is primary. It needs one thing: to be aware.
Everything else is secondary, and no further down. Anything I am aware of means as much as anything else I'm aware of.

There's a problem, fear, bug, in thinking - but is this a mmorpg(multi-player)? Are there multiple dreamers?
But if awareness is beyond bodies, how could it be seperated from other awareness? How could it not bump into, and even merge with them? I sense and percieve only one awareness, and I know only one cognizance, and am aware of awareness as something singular and indivisible. And, by evidence!, my thoughts control the wills of 'other' people! Which would be freaky if there was such a thing as 'other people' as opposed to 'aspects of self'.

Only awareness has free will, which is in all it's thinking and feeling projections, because all is one. My ego has never had free will, but awareness has allowed itself to be caught up in identifying with it. Interesting, SteveP wrote something about, can't remember exact wording, but, that it was as if his body didn't have free will any more(anybody want to tell me which post this was?), and so physical work was no longer tedious - I think it can be described as if he just set his primary body to do the task. 'Do this.' Or Like driving a car, perhaps.


have the heart to live the life you want to live

-
Sleeping but my eyes are open.