I've had bouts with depression most my life,it is horrible thing to expirience.Terribly draining taking all of what we might normally expirience as good or even wonderful at different times and turning it into a nightmare we can hardly bear.I've come to believe that depression is caused by certain chemicals in the brain or lack of.For myself it is the depression,that hopeless worthless feeling that strikes first without cause or reason.When it hits I quickly and subcounciously look for something to blame it on.There is never a shortage of reasons for me to feel bad,so I find many of them reinforcing that feeling of hopelessness.One reason that has lead me to this conclusion is the same things that make me feel horrible and at one time can be the same things that bring great joy at another.The reasons I may feel suicidal at one minute are the same things that I really could'nt care less about at a different time.So what's changed?Not the outside circumstances I have.This is my pattern.The best way I've found to fight it,has been to get into some healthy habits,get involved in life!!!Depression loves to isolate and alienate me.When I feel good and when I feel bad I constantly work to make more productive choices and make habits out of them.Now when I start feeling hopeless,meaningless,worthless I naturally turn to those healthy things instead of sulking in depression.Anything healthy I enjoy that gives me a strong sense of purpose,meaning and definite connection to the world,people and my enviroment.There will be different things that promote happiness for each individgual.Sometimes those things can be hard to find,but definetely worth the search.The search alone helps one to feel good if there comitted to it. Also doing something for someone else when I'm feeling down and miserable taps into my love and compassion for others and myself.It brings some joy even if just for a moment that good feeling lingers.I do my best not to "Feed" the depression with more negative thoughts which only seems like the natural thing to do.Sometimes it can be difficult even when I'm doing all those more healthy things the thoughts can be extremely invasive.I am stubborn though and alot of times I get more determined to prove the depression wrong and I stick with the positive almost on spite.I refuse to give in and let the depression win.It makes me mad.Sounds strange but it actually works for me.
Best of luck to you, Keep hanging in there.There are just as many reasons to feel good as there are to feel bad.The glass is always half full if you choose it to be.
