Hi Rose. Gosh with all that is going on in your life at present you are still managing to offer wonderfully attentive support to your friend, so much so that you are really reaching her inside of herself. What a drain on your energy this can be, im sure finding the balance will serve you well in your journey with soul realignment study but wow Rose you are being the type of friend people dream of
yes ive been finding it a challenge to respond publicly about something as traumatic and personal about someone else but the forum topics help many others in similar situations however you can PM me if you need to talk more if it will help you, im no expert or victim of such a rape but i get what she is basically going thru. The main thing is her getting thru the early months and with as little damaging reactions and limiting beliefs as possible so its not easy to focus on the fact that we create our own reality with her but to keep firmly reminding yourself of that may help you to mantain emotional distance when she confesses and leans on you. Right now you are a lifeline and a light in the darkness, she has a long, hard road ahead but you need to slowly transfer the bulk of the weight onto a therapist, to be her first stop &with you as close support. Dont feel too responsible cos you got a premonition but diddnt emphasise it, we all create our own experiences by our choices and learn our lessons as you know. Her self destructive behaviour is a cry for help, punishing herself for getting raped, expressing her new perception of her worth, identity & future, so as you say; responding with acceptance and can also every time gently point out the pain induced-reasons you notice behind her actions- like a loving mirror for her- so she begins to understand her actions and gently remind her that she can choose to treat herself with love instead because she is so worthy of love. Wishing you love &energy &you will find that you will continue to do just the right thing at just the right time for her.