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Old 11-14-2009, 06:27 PM   #19 (permalink)
Rose of Cairo
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: France -> Germany -> France -> Brazil
Posts: 3,430
Rose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppableRose of Cairo is absolutely unstoppable
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Roxon, thank you SO much!

Louise Hay, what a great idea! I will give her this affirmation to read every day. I doubt she'll do it, but at least she'll be given the opportunity to. And I'll say it on her behalf, too.

Quote:
It could help to remind your friend that being raped in a foreign country is too often a case of being a victim of cultural misperceptions and misread nuances on the part of the perpetrator, here in Africa (as in many other countries and cultures worldwide) there are often cultural beliefs, myths and gender role beliefs that are..... wrong or illogical realizing that could help your friend to process her ordeal somewhat better.
Yes, fortunately she already knows about this.

Quote:
After such an ordeal is the time when deep seated limiting and destructive beliefs are often formed while trying to cope and make sense of it all and so all your support, healing and considerate words are helping to minimise it. Its also a time when one thinks and feels many awful things that cant be put into words or expressed for fear of reprimand/rejection by those willing to listen and comfort, so your reassurances and encouragement are helping to minimise it too.
Yes. I can see that happening now. All this week we have been talking a lot, but right now she just sent me an email and confessed a few things she did this week while hiding them from me. I feel it would not be okay to give details publicly, but it is clearly self-destructive behaviors, as well as behaviors based on terribly low self-esteem. She seems to be very afraid I would judge, reprimand or reject her, just like you said.

Of course I don't do any of this. I think I'll write back to make it clear that she's perfectly worthy and lovable no matter what choices she makes and that I love her. But first I need to process the shock. When I read her email my eyes fell out of my head. I can't help imagining how she must feel like a piece of ♥♥♥♥♥ for doing such things. Wow that one is really hard to take. I need to remember the emotional and energetic distance thing and not let my empathy affect me.
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