[Rabbit]

Thank you very much, RockChick. Although there is really nothing to say, you truly have comforted me in a way - if only in knowing that I am not alone.
And indeed, it did make me rather happy to have that off my chest.

Now it's rebuttal time.


The Big D - I do not wish to outright insult or in any way start some kind of fight here. But let me be perfectly frank and tell you that I find your comments completely non-empathetic and disrespectful. Either that, or there has been a grave misunderstanding that I wish to be made clear. I will illustrate my issues with your responses, point by point, now:

Originally Posted by The Big D

Well, I ignored this thread up until now, but now feel compelled to comment because of that rant.

This is a community for enlightening and helping people. If you are here, and present, and are conscious of the topics and issues of this forum, I submit that it is your responsibility as a person seeking self improvement to attempt to help others.
So when someone tells you that they are having one of the biggest crises of life - in which they cannot support themselves on their own - you turn a blind eye for two months??? Shame on you.
Please tell me somebody else finds this upsetting (in the least, perhaps disturbing at worst). And please tell me, why were you ignoring it before?

Moving on...



1.

Originally Posted by The Big D

1) With that attitude, I would not have you as an unpaid intern.

Exactly as RockChick explains - of course I don't walk into interviews/meetings/inquiries about current openings with any kind of negative attitude.
I went into two stores today after I saw (the rare) a 'now hiring' sign. I was driving, saw the sign, and immediately was overtaken by the urgency to get the hell in there and ask for work that I literally had to stop my car HARD (the first store, squealing the tires... at 15mph).
The second store was a Goodwill (which I have nothing against in the least) - which is a store I probably wouldn't normallyever even publicly admit working at. But I strode in, charming and enthusiastic, and asked about their 10-hour-a-week minimum wage night shift openings.

Now let me explain why you in this first point are wrong. I never enter any kind of employment-related situation with any kind of negative attitude. It's not that I'm even hiding it - I simply don't have negative, self-pitying thoughts that are projected to the potential employer. I enjoy those first few moments of inquiring about a listed (yet vague) posting. I take pleasure in practicing my 'self-pitch', if you will, and etc. In any situation.

I am willing to bet my very life and soul, here and now, that I have never projected any kind of unenthusiastic, negative, or in any way unattractive attitude. I'm naturally engaging and charming and I employ my social skills in any situation. So NO, this is not at all any part of my problem.



2.

Originally Posted by The Big D

2) Your parents are right to closely monitor what you're doing. You're pulling a classic "failure to launch" and I don't blame them for taking a rather dim view of it.

This simply must just be a message incorrectly transmitted / interpreted / whatever.

Like any parent, of course they have that subtle but detectable attitude that they want you to find success.
My problem is not that I'm just sitting on my butt or being irresponsible in the least. In fact, I try to juggle a full 8 hours of career searching and applying every day along with trying to do chores as a gift for my parents.

My problem in this situation is that I am in fact adequately doing the job search. I am in fact assisting the household in which I live (I try to pick up major chores so that my mom or dad won't have to do them - as much as possible) instead of just leeching. And yet, they still have the idea and make bold assertions that I'm not doing the job search right, that I need to shape my life a certain way for success and I'm doing it all wrong by myself, that I must live by certain rules of their own devising and live a particular lifestyle they deem 'best' for being an employed adult.

On a few of these points [with my parents], I disagree - and earlier they had been very very rude about my protests. Now, after some discussion and time, I'm getting a bit more breathing room. All the same; it's still, in my opinion, not appropriate for them to attempt to mandate my life and my lifestyle.
I am an adult, and I am trying to acquire (or engage in) one of the most important responsibilities an adult is faced with. Being treated like a child simultaneously is not helpful, and highly aggravating.



3.

Originally Posted by The Big D

3) Time to support yourself doing whatever you can. Getting your foot in the door of a desired industry is all well and good, but you owe it to yourself and your parents and your creditors to earn some money.

Um, yes. I've been saying that exactly. This is what I'm trying to do. This is my goal. I'm not blind or ignorant to my duties as a debtor OR a son to fulfill my consciously agreed-upon responsibilities.

I don't believe I've ever stated otherwise - did anybody else get the impression that I'm just selfishly pursuing my dream instead of giving all due consideration to extraneous responsibilities?



4.

Originally Posted by The Big D

4) Were I to see a security with an "ask" price of 0, I would assume the true value was probably negative (since real price is always <= "ask"). I would make the same assumption about a prospective employee.

Your metaphor here is... impotent and illogical - with all due respect. Perhaps I am simply just not understanding it... but the way I'm reading it:

Right you are- because volunteers, people who consciously begin a job/employment that pays less than something else they already had (for any reason), or people who discount their services - these people, in general of course, are not performing the *normal* value of their services (and I do mean economically/financially). That is an outright lie, and if you want to brawl with valuations then don't fight a economist.

There is an extremely high implicit reward just for getting experience in the field I want to be in. The utility I receive from gaining this experience - considering that the experience is what will open the doors to my ultimate "total" success (dream job + financial freedom) - is much higher than the utility I could gain spending that time earning minimum wage.

AND YES, TRUST ME ON THIS - there are ways of equating feelings of pleasure/reward and/or other implicit feelings with money (e.g. dollars). Utility is our ultimate input. That is what counts.


Furthermore: I've explained to ALL of the employers so far (after asking about open paid positions and internships, of course) my situation, my desperation for experience, and my willingness to do whatever it takes to learn those skills and build my resume for future success. Only then I pull out the "I'll be your slave for free, no strings except that you acknowledge I 'worked' for you" card and offer it willingly.

Relating back to the first half of this point-four-rebuttal: given this information (which should be all pretty obvious- do you take me for some sort of imbecile? ) do you sincerely believe that an employer, after being briefed on my 'will-work-free-just-for-experience' willingness, considers my offer to volunteer for them a clear indication that I am worth nothing, or even less than nothing?

On that note, I wish to verbally chastise you very harshly about such a comment. The implication that my willingness to sacrifice wage for a time in exchange for labor makes me worthless or less than worthless is truly and deeply insulting. I sincerely hope that I simply misunderstood what you were attempting to say.


In summary, I'm ranting on these boards because I feel like I'm being dealt a very poor hand, and I am scared for my mental health because of what this degradation to my self-worth and stress from continual worrying about money. I just came to rant, and of course I would love positive words* (see previous post... ) and even advice, but I'm not looking to be told, even more, that I'm inadequate in some way. I don't appreciate that.




Also, moonrambler- I chased my dream field pretty much alone for the first month, and decided it was not very likely, so since then have been spending about 1/3 of my time on landing a position in my dream field (including time spent working on my volunteer group, which I hope leads to future opportunities) and the other 2/3 of my time selling old things I don't want/need to earn a little money and am hardcore searching for ANYTHING.

Of course, at first switching, I was still only looking at entry-level positions. Only about maybe late in the second month of searching (and since) that I realized I had to go lower. And within the past month, I've accepted the notion of unpaid internships, minimum wage night shifts, and jobs that I am incalculably more overqualified for (of course, they won't mind). I am looking for ANYTHING AT ALL to occupy my time in a positive way to build my career or earn some money.


And thanks again, RockChick, for sticking up for me . It's really nice, although disturbing in this context..., to know that I'm not alone in this hell.