As I see it, any good punishment is related to consequence. It's cause and effect in action, nothing more. You're not grateful for the food I've given you? Fine, you don't get to eat tonight. You're spending too much time with your gadgets to get your chores/schoolwork done? Off they go, into a locked cabinet. You're gonna swear at me? I'll completely ignore you until you apologize.
In each situation above, there's a link to real world consequences-you will not get invited for dinner if you insult the cook, you won't have money for entertaining gadgets if you never do any work, and people won't stomach somebody that's not pleasant (on some level) to deal with. Parents that are scared to death of becoming the bad guy end up sheltering their kids from cause and effect and the result is social dysfunction. Real social dysfunction-not ADD or some bs like that.
I'm all for a cooperative parenting method. Cater to the child's interests, encourage them to figure out who they are and delve into their passions. But teach them discipline or none of that will do them any good. Friendship comes later in life, when they're grown up and independent. Until then you're there to protect them from doing any long-term damage to themselves while teaching them habits that'll come in handy when it's their turn to make their way in the world.
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