[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

What can be done to change that? Can anything be done?

yeah i guess.. but i just let it be for a while.

That's exactly the point. Allow yourself to become vain and self-centered and vulnerable.

i am not sure about this... then it would be like loosing myself w/c is always in control... or people will take advantage of me because im showing off weakness... what if ppl took adv of me? i wouldn't be able to protect myself the way i always do because i am vulnerable, i allowed myself to be it.

okay i tell you, i've done this. i gave in before, i allowed myself to be vulnerable.. i feel so out. like i don't feel myself, my initial reaction is go back to my comfort zone. i know its coward but i've no idea what to do.. now that i've found my com zone again i feel like in control again and can protect myself. But actually the big issue there was feeling like im losing myself and i have no idea how to handle the situation. i feel like im going to be a diff person and im not ready to lose myself... do you get what i mean? what shoud i do?

You can't disallow yourself from becoming those things simply by saying "I'm not vain, self-centered, and vulnerable" over and over again, or by playing out meaningless scenarios in your head. You say that you feel that your worry is unnecessary. Are you willing to take steps to prove that, to live what your body and mind are telling you is true, or are you just going to avoid the issue so you can keep worrying?

Im willing to take steps its just that im worried about the change.

If your worry is invalid, then maybe the thing you're worrying about is what you are meant to become. Or maybe it's what you are meant never to become. Either way you can't face the truth until you admit that what your worry is telling you to do is wrong. It's not the fact that you feel worry that is holding you back, it is the seriousness with which you regard that worry. Knowing it to be wrong for certain, you still take it seriously as a valid means of determining your actions. As long as you use worry, you will feel worry. To stop worrying, you have to stop taking it seriously, and the only way I know of to stop taking it seriously is to let yourself become what you're worried that you'll become. I don't think you're a slut at heart, but if I'm wrong then you need to face the music, and the only way to find out for sure is to free yourself to become a slut and see if you're any good at it.

im worried i will become this unapproachable type, like those ladies who are misjudge because of how they behave. kind of like high maintenance haha! because I don't want to become the girl whose given special treatment I want to be treated equally. I want to be treated the way I am treated when I wasn't that "pretty". or maybe im just seeing things things the wrong way. oh i don't know.

when i got to college im showered with attention that i didnt get before its actually okay but i feel like they are nicer because of my looks?? please enlighten my thoughts. thankyou!

(sorry i hope im not pestering you with my issues)