What you have been experiencing is from being open to one whose plans are to recreate you. The first order of business of such a one (I was once married to one as well) is to take you off balance and keep you that way. That is the only place where you fear, are potentially open to suggestion. As this attempt of recreation stems forth from a place of fear, love distorts and turns into a means of attack instead of esteeming expression. This is his attempt to heal that place where he feels unloved and rejected. One can not heal themselves from the same place where they are ill.
What to do about it? The first is to bring yourself to balance. Recognise from within what it is that restores you to wholeness. What you have been experiencing has been a pulling of you from your center, from your balance. Return there, even if you have to let go of the illusion of the one you love. You can not help him from the position of being subjected to his fearful illusions and how he is attempting to deal with them. Once you return to your center, expect to find the necessary answers for this difficulty from within, for they are already there and will make themselves known to you when you are ready. And those answers will be complete, so I have nothing further to add.
Peace to you, my friend
