I'm very sorry that you feel bad. You KNOW that this relationship is toxic for you, but emotionally you are finding it very hard to walk away. I've been there too so feel for you.
You know is isn't much of a catch, yet you are putting all your energy into saving him. Read your post back, how much did you write about his issues, his pain, analysing his drug taking, his lies, his family etc? May I suggest that you are using his problems as a distraction from your own. If you put half as much energy into sorting yourself out as you do trying to sort him out then I think you will make great progress.
Stay with the therapy as it is helping - get inside your own head and find out what is causing you to feel the need to save someone like this. What's driving your need? What can you do to stand on your own two feet?
Have a think about why you have reacted so strongly to being called 'controlling' and an 'emotional manipulator'. I'm asking this as an open question. Is there any truth in those statements? If there is, then maybe that's something to explore in therapy. If there isn't - shrug them off, it means he is the emotional manipulator and is attacking you. Only you know the answer to that question. I found
this site useful in giving me a humerous view of how some people play the manipulation game. However don't spend to much time reading it, thinking - 'ah, that's his problem, if I only just ..xyz... he will be sorted.' No, read it, and think 'Ah that's what happened to me, if I ..xyz.. next time I meet someone who pulls my strings like that I will know how to respond.'
I have to say I found EFT invaluable in getting over my relationship, I can send you some information if you would like. I also found being single for 2 years the best medicine, as it enabled me to find out who I was without a bloke influencing my personality. It is a journey, but with determination you will get there.