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I have been the only one to try to make ammends and take responsibility for my own part[...]
I guess I just really try to avoid drama but sometimes wonder how I manage to create it for myself.
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Trying isn't doing.
In hypnosis the word try is used as a suggestion that someone can't do something.
"Try to lift your arm" results in the partcipant unable to move his arm.
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and yet honesty and taking responsibility is what can shove you in the limelight and ultimately work against you.
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It not like you are really taking responsiblity.
You are in the grey zone between taking responsibilty for your mistake and between hiding it.
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As a result of this stupid mistake to which I am a part
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There no reason to use such a passive construction if you see yourself as the person that responsible.
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have been the only one to try to make ammends and take responsibility for my own part[...]
Although I realise this person's response is completely out proportion, his reaction has thrown me, and I have taken on the abuse he has directed at me.
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Here you don't seem to accept the results of your actions. That's not taking responsibilty.
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To be honest I'm not willing to share the event in question because it really is THAT ridiculous.
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Again, you aren't taking responsibilty for your actions but try to hide them.
Again that's what the polarisation stuff is about. When you are in the gray zone and don't decide you suffer.