Quote:
Originally Posted by 180 
It's a sad cold reality. WE all want someone BETTER than what we have. It's in our nature. ..
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I completely disagree; and we're all different. What's true for you or another isn't necessarily true for everybody.
When I was married, I never wanted anyone else. I had a wife and 4 kids. Why would I ever want to bring a third party into that type of family dynamic and cause that type of pain and suffering to those whom I love? When I was younger and was engaged to another woman, but the marriage never happened, I didn't want anyone else then either. If I had, I would never have intended to marry her. There's no point in getting married if people can't be faithful; unless there are other reasons for the marriage and both parties are aware of those reasons and agree to them.
I've always been faithful to my girlfriends and my wife. If I really wanted someone else, I would end the relationship and then move on; but never cheat. IMO; that's one of the most hurtful things a person can do to someone that they claim to be completely committed to. If they're not committed, then they shouldn't claim to be. That's just lying. I've dated women and told them up front that I wasn't committed to them and they were cool with that. It's called honesty.
I believe that some people just want to have their cake and eat it too, so they cheat; or in other cases, their current partner isn't fulfilling their needs, whatever they may be; so they look elsewhere to have those needs met. It's not really a complicated thing. People are either committed to one another or they're not.
If they're not, then they shouldn't claim that they are and shouldn't marry someone they have no intention of being committed to; unless they have a marriage not based on commitment; but knowingly marry for other reasons. Marriages of convenience do exist, and if both parties are aware of that and it works for them, then fine, but pretending to be truly committed to one person and cheating is just wrong because it's a lie. Better to get out of the marriage and then move on IMO.
No one has to cheat and no one is forced to cheat. Cheating is a conscious, willful choice; no matter how it's rationalized and/or justified in the mind. No matter how strong an attraction may be, there's always a way out for those who choose to take it. Those who choose otherwise should be ready and willing to face whatever consequences come along as a result of their actions; and very often, they learn that it wasn't worth it. There are reasons why so many affairs end and most don't result in another marriage. It's not real life.
The two cheaters usually show their best facets to one another but not the real, day to versions of themselves; so it very often is a sort of fantasy that's played out and acted upon, but isn't reality nor is it anything close to what life would be like if they were truly together all the time; day to day. Many people leave their marriages and marry their cheating partner; only to realize that the person they thought that they knew never really existed; and many people are often hurt in the process. I've seen this many times.
I would advise any married person who isn't satisfied with their marriage to either openly communicate how they feel and try and address and correct whatever issues exist, or get out, THEN go looking for a new partner if that's what they want. It's far less complicated and far easier on everyone, especially where children are involved. Once a third party is brought into the picture, it complicates an already problematic situation.