[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by rei

well i think several times now you've mentioned what others think, like social expectations... why not just set those aside or ignore them? (edit: i know that setting aside social expectations is often easier said than done, but it's entirely possible too)

i realized, i don't usually worry or think about what others will think or say but then at the moment of my worrying it struck me because i realize that i am worrying. actually the problem here is "worrying" because i don't know the right way to avoid it. i just went blank on how i will stop these thoughts. i mean should i just stop thinking? that doesn't sound right, right? looking answers to it won't solve anything either because i am the only one worrying. its like i didn't know how to snap back to myself after realizing i am worrying.

(i realized this is a diff issue, but you can still answer if you like)

i had a really great friendship with the guy i spoke of before. we were both there for each other in ways only friends are there. seven years or so is a long time, and it breaks that stereotype about guys and girls having platonic relationships (well, it broke that stereotype until the end anyway...), it went against expectations which say we would have hooked up much sooner.

so i think maybe just forget about what society expects of you, just hang out with them and be their friend. let them make it obvious if they want it to be something more, and then the responsibility will be on them and you can hopefully relax and not be so self-conscious. and if you find yourself attracted to any of them, you can make that clear as well.

yeah, i guess your right, i'll keep that advice in mind.

i think you're getting too caught up on what guy-girl friendship is expected to be, what the 'rules' are, and those rules don't always apply... maybe this is an opportunity to create your own expectations and your own rules. if things get crazy complicated you can always post on here for more support

i have a question to you, you say you were one of the boys and you did not let stereotypes rule it (this is how you think, right?) but what about your friends? how did they treat you? do they think the same like you do, not letting the stereotype? what if they are letting the stereotype, what did you do?

because seriously, i don't let stereotypes rule it either i just treat everyone the same, but it seemed to me that they are the one acting out the stereo, so its kinda of confusing, im kind of getting carried by their actions.

thankyou2