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What does it mean to cheat?
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Hmm, maybe that you view your relationship in terms of right/wrong? (like a law that you either keep, or break and be caught + punished, or break and manage not to be caught)
I prefer to rather focus on the quality of connection between partners, no matter if the agreed boundaries are rather tight (in a monogamous relationship) or rather loose (in some sort of polyamorous relationship).
So instead of using static terms such as cheating, I'd connect around e.g. my needs for love, trust, authenticity etc, and in what ways I'd like my partner to contribute to meeting them.
And even IF you are heart-broken because your partner did something that you don't enjoy, mourning needs you hold dear will help you better get over it than focusing on the wrongness of his or her action (unless, of course, you think you need the rage and blame to manage to break up).