What people are doing is asking you to connect with them. Shared sorrow is half sorrow and all that: commiseration validates the sadness they're feeling, and it makes it more bearable. Granted, it's more bearable because of the social validation, yes, but I don't think that's a bad thing. That's what social validation, echo chambers, group polarization, groupthink... is for. That's largely the whole point.
That doesn't mean it's always a good thing, which is why all those terms have a negative connotation nowadays, but it's not a bad thing either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UHF  I don't feel the need to dwell on how terrible something is and don't find it helpful. Perhaps this is disconnection, but what's the alternative? |
Picking and choosing, mostly. Choose which emotions you're agreeing with, and which you aren't.
"That tragedy was really sad, wasn't it?" (Emotion is sadness.)
"Yes, it was." (That's fine.)
"It could happen to anyone." (Emotion is turning into fear.)
"Sure, perhaps." (Not much you can do with that, since it's probably true.)
"Even me." (Now it's getting specific.)
"No, probably not. You're different in these ways." (So you can get specific, in the other direction.)
It's still a connection, but it's a positive one instead. You don't want to dismiss their feelings, or make light of their disquiet, but that doesn't mean you can do nothing.