[Penelopi]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

You're confused and doubting yourself because you think you're supposed to be.

suppose to be what? sorry i'm kinda slow.

You've learned that the appropriate response to confronting a problem you can't solve is to go crazy. That's why, even though you're obviously understanding the foolishness of what you're doing, you are still acting like you don't know what you're talking about by asking things like "or maybe not??"

oh that is definitely not true. honestly i wasn't even aware that i was worrying, i got "crazy" because it suddenly occur to me like wtf, why am i worrying about these things? I felt like i am a diff person because i am not the type to worry about such things and then i got all get jumbled even more.... anyway, i think this is a whole diff issue, so nevermind.hehe.

The issue isn't about sex at all. The issue is that you feel like you're going crazy because all your old means of solving problems have turned out to do nothing but create problems, but no new methods of solving problems have presented themselves. I don't have any new methods of solving your problems. Your problems aren't the issue here, anyways. You know you can't solve this problem perfectly. You KNOW that, and you have to go from what you know, even if it's unbelievable. Your feelings are telling you to leave this be, that there's nothing to worry about. Picking at it in order to give others the impression that you want to do something about it doesn't make anything better, it just gives you the illusion of doing something useful.

The solution to this isn't about the problem. I know that doesn't make much sense, but you can't solve anything by thinking about the problem. You just make the problem worse. The solution is what is left over when all these problems are stripped away. Let your feelings guide you beyond the issue at hand. You won't be able to do it at first, and in fact you'll become very frustrated, and very frustrated that your frustration is making things worse. You will see yourself become more and more foolish as you peel away the layers of immaturity and false beliefs, because more and more of your foolishness will become apparent to you. And the more you see your foolishness, the more you will realize that it's not what's stupid in you that is important. It's not foolishness that you need to be rid of, it's something beyond foolishness that you need to find, something that has no need of your precious boy troubles and worrying. You're perfect the way you are, and in fact incapable of imperfection; you just have to find that out for yourself.

I think i know what your getting at.. hmm...i'll think about it. thanks the cloud!