Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Why do people feel they need to "Contextualise" Sexual Relationships?

PhoenixFlames · 11-06-2009, 05:35 PM

Hi guys and girls

Despite being a 28 year old, Emotionally, Physically Healthy Male, of whom women have Openly admitted my Attractive Physical features I am going to admit that I have never had a "girlfriend" per se.

I am, however, fully experienced when it comes to Sexual Intercourse, Foreplay, Approaching Females I like (be it a Nightclub full of women wearing Sexually Provocative Clothing or a polite Conversation with a Female in a Bookstore), Understanding Comfort Building and Rapport with females on a Deep Emotional Level.

In fact when I meet people at Social Gatherings I never get asked
"Do you have a girlfriend?" its more of "So you're girlfriend must be lucky as you're so insert charcteristic/behaviour X"
People assume that I have a girlfriend.

Its no secret that I also practice PUA (that is Pick Up Artistry) and have studied new variants of Social Proof, High End Nightclub Game, One Night Stands etc.

What amazes me is that I have been able to experience Meeting, Attracting, and having sex with members of the opposite sex- without the need for a "Relationship" or verbalising or Gaurenteeing a Female I will still see her in the future.
In fact some interactions have been ended either by me or a girl I was talking to at the point in an interaction whereby I drop "my intent". Dropping intent is where its obvious you and the girl you're speaking to is showing Interest via Sexual Body Language Signals, verbalsiing what she finds Attractive about you be it Physical, A Characteristic or Behaviour, shared belief.
For example I had two interactions with two seperate females in a Nightclub a few days ago.
One said she was Monogmous and that she only believed in seeing one guy at a time. She even said (and I believed she was being Honest and Congruent) I only text one guy at a time.
One had a boyfriend but took my number, and I ended up in her bedroom a few days later after meeting up and we had sex- only once though.

The way I see it, as adults who are developing and improving on a day to day basis- and the fact that we somethimes see more or less of people as our Goals or circumstances change in all areas of our lives.
Why do some people need to then Contextualise or Gaurentee that we will be with someone for a certain long or short period of time.

If we have sex in the Same Night with someone we've just met, why is it a One Night Stand when the couple may want to see one another again?
Why do people call each other a Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Surely if the emotional bond was that tight they wouldn't need to label themselves as Single, In a Relationship etc.

I have studied the subject of desire in some depth and studied sexual psychology. Two books that sticks in my mind is David M Buss's "Evolution of Desire" and Robin Bakers "Sperm Wars".

I'd even met an NLP expert and talked about Sexual Relationships outside of Common Bonds like Marriage and Long Term Relationships.
To my suprise even he admitted there are grey areas and that my current Tactics were perfectly "normal" and that people are dismissive of their inbuilt thoughts and feelings about sex.

What are people's thoughts on this?

11-06-2009, 05:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
PhoenixFlames Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 184	Why do people feel they need to "Contextualise" Sexual Relationships? Hi guys and girls Despite being a 28 year old, Emotionally, Physically Healthy Male, of whom women have Openly admitted my Attractive Physical features I am going to admit that I have never had a "girlfriend" per se. I am, however, fully experienced when it comes to Sexual Intercourse, Foreplay, Approaching Females I like (be it a Nightclub full of women wearing Sexually Provocative Clothing or a polite Conversation with a Female in a Bookstore), Understanding Comfort Building and Rapport with females on a Deep Emotional Level. In fact when I meet people at Social Gatherings I never get asked "Do you have a girlfriend?" its more of "So you're girlfriend must be lucky as you're so insert charcteristic/behaviour X" People assume that I have a girlfriend. Its no secret that I also practice PUA (that is Pick Up Artistry) and have studied new variants of Social Proof, High End Nightclub Game, One Night Stands etc. What amazes me is that I have been able to experience Meeting, Attracting, and having sex with members of the opposite sex- without the need for a "Relationship" or verbalising or Gaurenteeing a Female I will still see her in the future. In fact some interactions have been ended either by me or a girl I was talking to at the point in an interaction whereby I drop "my intent". Dropping intent is where its obvious you and the girl you're speaking to is showing Interest via Sexual Body Language Signals, verbalsiing what she finds Attractive about you be it Physical, A Characteristic or Behaviour, shared belief. For example I had two interactions with two seperate females in a Nightclub a few days ago. One said she was Monogmous and that she only believed in seeing one guy at a time. She even said (and I believed she was being Honest and Congruent) I only text one guy at a time. One had a boyfriend but took my number, and I ended up in her bedroom a few days later after meeting up and we had sex- only once though. The way I see it, as adults who are developing and improving on a day to day basis- and the fact that we somethimes see more or less of people as our Goals or circumstances change in all areas of our lives. Why do some people need to then Contextualise or Gaurentee that we will be with someone for a certain long or short period of time. If we have sex in the Same Night with someone we've just met, why is it a One Night Stand when the couple may want to see one another again? Why do people call each other a Boyfriend and Girlfriend. Surely if the emotional bond was that tight they wouldn't need to label themselves as Single, In a Relationship etc. I have studied the subject of desire in some depth and studied sexual psychology. Two books that sticks in my mind is David M Buss's "Evolution of Desire" and Robin Bakers "Sperm Wars". I'd even met an NLP expert and talked about Sexual Relationships outside of Common Bonds like Marriage and Long Term Relationships. To my suprise even he admitted there are grey areas and that my current Tactics were perfectly "normal" and that people are dismissive of their inbuilt thoughts and feelings about sex. What are people's thoughts on this?