Quote:
Originally Posted by CroMagna  My family treats me like a toddler. It's given me an aversion to them. I feel like their attitude towards me (that I'm a lazy ne'er do well) is making me lazier.
The problem is: my family is everywhere! I live with my mom, aunt, and grandmother. I work for my aunt. My other family members come by the job and home often.
I can't get away from them and their pressure. When I talk to therapists, they say I'm doing fine. They encourage me to be an adult, to be responsible, to have self-respect, to think for myself, and to be free. They do all of this compassionately without making me feel like a failure.
My family does just the opposite and they are actually impeding on my progress. They order me around, they treat me like a child but then get mad and say that I'm almost 30 and still living like a child. They don't know anything about me. For example they don't like that I'm LGBT. So there's this psychological wall between us.
I would really like to relocate to Brazil but they have shaken my confidence by saying that I will get down there and have an anxiety attack or get drunk and end up getting kidnapped or something, then I'll be calling home saying I got fired or something.
I would like to be out of their hair for good in 4 months. I would also like to reduce this anxiety problem and lose weight. Is there any way out? |
People respond to expectations.
Your family is filling your brain with "you are lazy".
I bet you are not.
I bet you will be perfectly capable of doing what you want.
Just try to plan it a bit, and leave some margin to adapt or to make changes to your situation. It includes to have some extra money, in case you need it, and get enough information about the place you are going.
If I was you I'd be a rebel.
Rebels are not lazy if they are told they are lazy.
Rebels win when they are told to be losers.
I have seen ordinary people doing incredible good things, and I see no reason why it should be different for you.
My bet is that people in your family fear to lose control.
They fear to live their lives, so they live it though you.
So they should get a life, and let you live yours.
And as long as you live a responsible life, thinking long term, you'd be fine.