[Pequod]

The most important thing is to be comfortable!

When I feel comfortable, relaxt and confident, people often say that I'm very humorous. Yet when I feel not so confident, my mind tightens up, I censor what I say before saying it and I'm perceived a very serious dude. The difference is like day and night!

So how to be more comfortable, relaxt and confident?

For me it was a combination of challeging myself, extending my comfort zone, 'inner' work (emotional release, changing beliefs etc), and training my social skills. For example I started to do improvisation theater, became member of Toastmasters, and gave myself little excercises like chatting up a stranger during lunchbreak, or speaking for an hour without first censoring my words.

After I had learned the skills, I knew what to do and how to do it, but often I still felt a knot in my stomach while doing it. So I switched to emotional healing and belief change. This was the most intense period, but also the most rewarding. Nowadays I usually feel confident in any social setting. If someone told me a few years ago how brimming with energy I am and how socially confident I feel most of the time, I would never have believed it!

All this took a lot of time and sometimes a lot of balls, so patience and courage are also important. Yet if you stick with it, the results can be amazing. I went from a painfully shy guy that had trouble picking up the phone to a guy that regularly gets complimented on his social skills.

Amazing improvement is definately possible. Just buckle up and enjoy the ride!