Quote:
Originally Posted by pjhaggerty  I would like to hear some opinions on this quote from Robert Greene:
"Honesty is actually a blunt instrument, which bloodies more than it cuts. Your honesty is likely to offend people; it is much more prudent to tailor your words, telling people what they want to hear rather than the coarse and ugly truth of what you feel or think"
Do you think it is more important to be honest with yourself, honest with others, both, or neither? and why? Especially in the context of dealing with people who might not have the emotional maturity to handle your honest opinion constructively. |
I'm too lazy
to read the other replies, but here is my take on this:
For me personally it is important to be honest both with myself and with other people. Telling people what they want to hear instead of what I think is not aligned with integrity.
I think taking care not to offend or hurt other people is highly disrespectful towards them. It implies that they are weak and cannot take it. That's not a message I would like to send off to others, because it's disempowering to them. Another reason is that taking care not to offend or hurt others means taking responsibility for their feelings, which is none of my business. It would be a trespassing of their personal boundaries, which is abusive. I prefer to trust others to be able to look after themselves and to deal with their emotions no matter what I say.
As a result, I tend to be very blunt and spontaneous. I don't think it is heartless of me. On the contrary, I think it is the most loving attitude I could possibly have towards others.
If someone cannot take it, they will either grow and gain the ability to take it, which is fine with me, or run very far away from me, which is also fine with me.
Plus, who says that what we truly think is coarse and ugly? If you're a very negative person going around judging others, then what you think about them might be coarse and ugly. But the more you are in love with life and yourself, the more you also tend to think nice things about others and bring constructive criticism instead of nasty judgments. And then, your being honest is not a problem for others anymore.
Last but not least, why would it be desirable to be prudent? When you're bold, you boldly fall on your nose, but at least you learn from it. I'd rather be honest and get rejected than to hide what I truly think all of my life.
My 2cts!