You can use Steve's Favourite Meditation.
My Favorite Meditation
But You can take with you your
Short term Futureself (6month to 2 years ), and Long term future self(2 years to 5 years) instead of your pastself
And be creative about what you really fentasy about, See some good things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by songindarkness  I am incapable of doing anything with my life. I am in university on a Masters course in Biophysics that was paid for by the university and I am suffering from depression. I hate myself and I hate my life. Socially, I feel I have good friends although I do get very anxious around people and feel too tired to do much socialising. I used to be a lot worse but I have a very supportive boyfriend right now. I believe I have suffered from some form of depression/anxiety my whole life. I struggled through my undergraduate degree in Physics and Computer Science and no one knows why I did the Masters course but I went to work in crappy admin jobs for a year after uni and I got fired once and nearly fired again for doing no work. I have no energy and no motivation for anything like work. I really, truly thought that science research was what I wanted and now I know don't anymore. I think I have been fooling myself that is what I wanted to do because I thought it was the best use of my skills and that I had to for the prestige. I've been told I'm intelligent and that I had to make the best use of it my whole life. I have very supportive parents who love me but they have been very critical and negative my whole life, telling me I had to work and study hard, and that whatever I did I could do better, and always fighting with me to try and make me do more work. I'm seeing a psychologist now and I realise that all of this made me feel not good enough and that is why all the work I am supposed to do feels too hard to do it even though I know I am intelligent enough and that I can achieve high marks since I have done in the past, like I got an 80% for one module but I haven't been able to do much since. I got a 2:1 for my degree (UK) and that's reasonable but I know I was capable of a first. I'm working hard to remove my limiting beliefs and visualise my ideal life and I was feeling really good about myself and my progress but I still can't seem to do anything constructive about my Masters degree. I had taken a break and come back last month but I haven't actually done anything since then. And today I got this email.
Dear J--------,
Could you please come and see me on Friday morning (6th November 2009)?
As you know we have paid you the last quarter of your stipend for the MRes. However this was on the understanding that you would fulfill the remaining requirements of the MRes course. You do not seem to be doing this. If you do not come and see me and give me an explanation for your lack of activity on the course I will have no option but to inform the University that you are not fullfiling the obligation of completing the course.
The University may then take steps to recover the stipend from you.
I hope that there is an acceptable explanation for your absence from the course,
Best wishes
P----
I am BROKE, all that money I just got paid by uni went on rent, and I don't know what to do. The university, my parents and my boyfriend have been SO supportive and I HATE to let them down but I seem to not be able to help myself. I know I can't keep going on this way. I don't want this life. I am 27 next month and I know I want my life to be completely different... please help. |