I'm in a not dissimilar situation with someone - we have common friends who meet around once a month for coffee, but she is someone I do not want in my life in any shape or form for what I believe to be are very good reasons.
As she is very isolated, I 'make my excuses' for most of the monthly coffee get-togethers so she has some form of outlet. However, occasionally I want to go, so I make it clear in advance that I will be there - we make arrangements via a yahoo group - and she (so far) has stopped away if she knows I will be there.
The one common friend who I want deeper contact with, I see separately and I have told her nothing about the rift as I did not want her to feel obliged to 'choose'.
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