Aww yeah, I think we've all done the whole "well this is what you're doing wrong and how to fix your problem" thing. But like you said, we're not always looking for advice... we want compassion. We already know we screwed up!
So do you mean she is showing up at some of your parties unannounced? If it's at your house, you don't have to let her in, right?
But you have common friends, so that may be awkward. When she's around and you're feeling uncomfortable, what are you thinking about? Is there anything you would like to say to her?
By the way, if she's pretending you don't exist, I'd wager she is holding onto some pain for you too.