I don't know if this would be helpful or not, but this is how I think about my life.
I want to dance, to perform, to create software useful for other people, to give helpful advice.
I can't do these things if I don't eat food, so I eat food.
I can't do these things if I don't sleep, so I sleep.
I can't do these things well if I'm stressed out and unhappy, so if I'm unhappy, I try different things until I'm not unhappy.
I can't do these things well if I'm sick, so when I get sick, I rest until I am well again.
I need money to buy food and to have a place to sleep and to rest when I get sick, so I work to make money, so that I can buy food and have a place to sleep, so that I can dance, perform, create software useful for other people, and to give helpful advice.
The physical direction may be inward instead of outward, receiving instead of giving, yet my intention remains one of an outward flow.
It need to care of myself when I'm sick to enable my giving in the world, in the same way that I need a working car to enable me to give in the world.
There is a dramatic difference though between an inward flow intention and an outward flow intention in that when I've had enough food, or enough rest, or my car will take me from point A to point B, I am content. It is enough. I don't desire more food, more rest, a bigger fancier more expensive car.
Sometimes people are shocked when they see me grab a slab of tofu and eat it.
How can I explain? I'm hungry, my body wants some protein, so I munch on some healthy source of protein. For them, of course, eating a slab of tofu would be yucky, a great sacrifice. But for me, it tastes fine. I enjoy eating tofu. I am no longer hungry. And every hour that I might spend preparing or obtaining some fancier food would be an hour that I'm not doing something that I want to do.
Another difference I notice with having an outward flow intention is that I take dramatically better care of myself than most people.
I may not always know what to do in a giving situation, but when I do know what to do, I often find it easy to do. For example, when I get a cold, I've found that for my body the fastest way to get well is to spend the day in bed sleeping as much as I can. So I do that.
With your chronic condition, it sounds like it probably would need a lot more care than just spending a day in bed like I do when I get a cold. But I wonder if the principle could be the same? Out in the physical world, you do whatever you need to do, for however long as you need to, in order to stay well given the chronic condition you have. Spiritually though, the flow of intention is still outwards: you know that the healthier you are, the better you're able to help people when you're working with them.
^_^
Cat |