[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by blossom

Hi Dulaney. I feel for you here, and it is very challenging when you KNOW that your victim mentality is where you are coming from, and not be able to fully break out of it yet.

Great empathy. Thanks. Its nice to know that other people can empathize with me!

Originally Posted by blossom

I had a pretty nice childhood, but there was a fair bit of neglect and emotional abuse, which seemed to increase after I was 18 and has continued. I feel like I'm not half the person I was meant to be because of this, and it is hard to push past the victim mentality, as it is what we have come to be used to, since, in reality we ARE victims of other peoples ignorance and pain and victimhood themselves. I also went through a period of mourning for that child who has been lost, so it's perfectly normal.

Again, thanks for the empathy and compassion. Little things like that make a person feel more calm and less worried about their problems.

I have this tendency to see everyone as perfect, its really frustrating. And when they do make mistakes, I say "well, that's ok," but when I make a mistake, it means something is wrong with me.

Originally Posted by blossom

I don't know if it is realistic to expect of yourself to feel good on a consistent basis...do you? I mean, even great people have crap days, they just don't tell anyone about it since it might sully their rep

I have this image of this ideal in my head of a woman who is outgoing, strong, competent, and confident. And when I measure myself against her, I always come up short. But I feel I have to have this image because it constantly makes me strive for better. On the other hand, I understand that idealism can be destructive if one is constantly feeling inadequate.

Originally Posted by blossom

What are your dreams? There's a book I have titled Ïf the dream is big enough, the facts don't count". Maybe searching out stories of people who inspire you may lead to the realization that not everyone who has had a great childhood went on to make something of themselves, as you think...and convertly, not everyone who had a less than loving childhood went on to be a hopeless case. I think the determining factor seems to be whether the INDIVIDUAL has a dream that they want to make happen or not? I know it's not always easy, but that seems to be an underlying thread in most great peoples stories...that they didn't let anything stand in their way...not even their past or these determining factors that hold so many people back.

I have never been good at many things since I was a child and I don't have specific dreams. I would like to be happy and successful but most of us do. I never truly found my niche and even things I enjoy (animals and psychology) gets old after a while.

Two things that I almost never tire of: food and travel.

Originally Posted by blossom

I hope this doesn't make things worse for you, my message is that if you are inspired to greatness, then the universe has a way of helping you get there, regardless of where you came from.

I want to be great so i can feel important and special but I have a feeling that even if I saved 50 people from a burning building, I'd say " well, anyone could have done it!"

My refusal to grant credit to my strengths is also feeding into my negative self-concept.