[dulaney0330]

Lately, I have been struggling with depression and low confidence.

I keep rethinking over my childhood and resenting many things: I was too sensitive/shy, I did not have any skills like many children have (sports, arts, theater), I was teased at school and neglected at home.

I keep playing over this in my head and I feel I offer something to people but not greatness. I dont think people dislike me. I just feel people would prefer someone else over me.

I just feel like my life has been determined by my past and I cannot stop it.

Most people who have healthy childhoods grow up to do great things (whether in career or relational).

Those who have been abused, neglected, and ignored generally do poorly compared to those who had it "right."

I am resentful of this fact and I mourn the little girl who never had a chance.

I understand we all have choices and I have this victim mentality.

I feel stuck right now. I have been through years of therapy and self-help but I still cannot feel good about myself on a consistent basis.

Are our lives predetermined in our childhoods? I feel I cannot rise above what happened to me and have the confidence that would take me far.

At the same time, maybe I am scared of fulfilling my dreams?

Insight would be great. I feel like I need to think and feel clearly and I am frustrated when I am stuck in this darkness of distortions!