Sounds like you got a double whammy -
1. You fell off the wagon of being a happy healthy person in harmony with the world (momentarily)
2. Someone is taking the opportunity, sensing your shame and burying you
You are in turn burying yourself. Punishing yourself.
Painful! I can relate - I had a (stupid and small) regression of healthy/harmonious living out of the blue this past summer, and it made my head spin - where in the he** did that come from?
I had been on cloud nine! Isn't that one of the reasons we work on ourselves to be happy - to prevent upset, drama, mistakes, yada yada?
Relentless self-torture ensued. No one else was involved, so I didn't have that part luckily. It took some time, but the only way to really accept what had happened was to see myself as imperfect (ugh). My perfectionism was the aggressor - it followed me around all day.
I have to reassure myself that imperfection is part of my path, to teach me humility and compassion - to quit thinking of myself as better than everyone else. And just be.
Forgive yourself. You are only human. Even as I write "everyone makes mistakes" I don't want to believe it - I want to be better than that! So I still have work to do...
And your friend? Apologize and move on. Be direct and genuine, and that's it. Don't bring it up again. Unless you want to continue to punish yourself...
I hope that helps somewhere.
Hang in there -
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