 Problems with mom
After leaving high school, I went on to study at university but gave up in the first year. The following year, I did another different degree and gave up on it too. There was 2 reasons I believe, I did not enjoy what I was studying and I had no discipline - as soon as it got tough, I gave up!
After that, around the age of 20, I decided to head abroad to volunteer, because I thought that would give me some direction in life. After spending 6 months abroad, I sincerely believe that I have found my love. I am now studying languages and thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. However, it is only a part time course, for most of the day, I just sit at home, my moms house that is. She is fed up, that is what I feel. My father left the family and I am the oldest son. She has financial burdens. I cannot support her since I have no job. I think that she made MANY mistakes in keeping my dad as long as she did, this broke the family apart.
I guess, from her perspective, I am not using my time wisely, and its true. However, I cannot forgive her for her past mishaps with my dad. She is angry at me for not providing or succeeding in life. At the same, she tells me she loves me, but I truly doubt it, since she makes many back handed remarks about me and I do not feel her love at all.
I cannot leave because living alone is very expensive in a city like london. Hopefully, once I get a job, I can help out financially, but in the meanwhile, how should I deal with living with my mom when causes many conflicts?
Any ideas?
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